《怀念南瓜》

— 爱，总是在回忆中最为强烈。

文｜道南来人 2025 初夏

南瓜，公猫，英文名叫Pumpkin。养于 2007年秋天（出生日期据推测是2006 年），卒于2025年5月24日星期六下午5点到8点之间。享年19岁。

据说，猫不愿意死在爱他的人、或者同伴面前；只要还有一丝力气，他们都会避开主人，找一个安静的地方，独自离去。

我家的南瓜就是这样的。他和我们一起生活了十八年，却在我们离开家的几个小时里、在未曾表现出丝毫身体不适的情况下，突然永远地离开了我们。自两年前动过腿部肿瘤切除手术后，我更是坚信，他是一定会活过20岁的。我无法想象，在临死前他是如何用尽生命最后的力气、爬上他那专属的高达18英寸的椅子上去的。他离去时就像平时他睡觉时一样：用手捂住他的脸，安详地睡在他生前喜欢的椅子上。没有给我们任何话别的机会；没有给我们任何帮助他的机会。他选择在自己最喜欢的地方、选择了我们离开家里那个狭窄的时间窗口、以不让我们难过的方式走完了他生命最后的路程。我们感谢他、感谢他在生命的最后一刻还是那么的善解人意。

近年来，他的确是老了。他的毛发失去了往日的光泽，变得越来越松弛，一梳理就会梳出许多来。住在外州的儿子和儿媳一家人在五月初回到家里来时，看到他的第一眼就说南瓜老了许多。但他还是健康的。除了睡觉的时间比以前更多、不愿上高处、不愿随我在室内转圈两次以外，没有其他异常的表现。他的突然不辞而别是完全出乎我们意料之外的，令我们难以释怀。十八年来，他给了我们太多美好的时光和回忆。

我还清楚地记得那天——大概是2007年的秋天的一个周末，我、太太和女儿去宠物店PetSmart。女儿看到他的第一眼就喜欢上了。然而，当时“挡在”我们前面的还有一位女士。她在仔细观察这只猫、还在犹豫不决之中。我们一家人心里都在怦怦直跳、担心这只猫会被她领养去，祷求她快点离开那里。这样我们就能“抢占到”靠近这只猫的有利位置。结果一切都如愿以偿：她挪动一下位置，站到旁边的猫那里去了。我们马上抢到了那个位置，稍稍观看了一下，大家就决定把他领养回来。到家后，大家都为刚才“抢”位置的行为感到太失态。

他有橘黄色毛发，店员叫他“Pumpkin”。后来我们就一直沿用这个名来叫他。人，可以改变命运，但无法改变历史和出生。我想动物也是一样的。他是从外地转送来我们这里流浪猫的崽猫，出生年月不详，推算是在2006年。他较瘦小，背上潜入了一小芯片便于跟踪。医生说他心脏有点点先天的问题，但不大。这一些所谓的问题，那时对我们来说都不在意了。因为，他看上去是那么的可爱。爱，是可以淡化或掩盖其他问题的。

南瓜一来到我们家，就成了女儿的宝贝、家里的明星，更是成为了我每天相处时间最长的家庭成员。女儿和儿子每天放学回家，就围着他转。太太帮他清洗饮水机、还和我每天帮他清理沙子。而他，白天陪我一起工作，晚上陪我一起看球赛。我们真的是朝夕相处。

和其他猫相比，南瓜不那么粘人。但他非常亲近人。总是保留了自己能独立支配的空间。他爱呆在我身边，但不想让我抱住他、控制住他；爱趴在桌子上，一整天地看我干活；爱坐在我的身后，和我一起看着门外的景色；爱躺在我身边，和我一起看球赛。那距离、那分寸都体现了他的聪明和智慧。南瓜，你睡觉时发出那满足的咕噜声，更是让我嗅到了生命的芬芳、让我修得了获得幸福的能力。南瓜，你是我的挚友和生活导师，谢谢你！

南瓜，你是那么的随和和宽容。你能和任何一位客人相处。即使我们一时忘掉了你，你也不会计较、不会咄咄逼人；即使我们有时做错了什么，你也是一会儿就忘。你那不记前仇、我行我素、豁达自信的性格是大家爱你的原因之一。

你有自由的灵魂，生于这片大地，长眠于你最熟悉、感觉最舒服的地方。这一切应该是你想要的。安息吧，南瓜！千言万语只有一句，感谢你18 年来的陪伴和对这个家无私的爱、依赖和贡献！你总是那么懂事，不让我们操更多的心；就连离开也不想让我们看到你痛苦、不想让我们难过。愿你在那边过得更幸福！愿猫星更加美好！你会永远活在我们心中。

Goodbye Pumpkin

(May 27, 2025)

Pumpkin, a male cat, adopted in the fall of 2007 (birth date is estimated to be 2006), died on Saturday, May 24, 2025. He was 19 years old.

It is said that cats do not want to die in front of those who love them or their companions; as long as they have a little strength, they will avoid their owners, find a quiet place, and leave alone.

This is the case with my Pumpkin. He lived with us for 18 years, but suddenly left us forever a few hours after we left home, without any sign of physical discomfort. After he had a leg tumor removal surgery two years ago, I became even more convinced that he would live past the age of 20. I still can't imagine how he used up his last strength to climb onto his very own 18-inch chair before he died. When he passed away, he was just like sleeping: covering his face with his hands, sleeping peacefully forever in the chair he loved when he was alive. He didn't give us any chance to say goodbye; he didn't give us any chance to help him. Pumpkin chose to spend the last moment of his life in his favorite place and in a way that would not make us sad. We thank him and thank him for his thoughtfulness in the last moments of his life.

In recent years, he has indeed aged. His hair has lost its former luster and has become increasingly loose, and a lot of hair will come out when he was combed. When my son and his wife who live in another state came back home at the beginning of this month they said that Pumpkin had aged a lot when they saw him. But he still looked healthy, except that he slept more than before, was unwilling to go to high places, and was unwilling to circle around the house with me twice, nothing else was abnormal. His sudden departure without saying goodbye was completely unexpected to us, and it is hard for us to let it go. For 18 years, he has given us so many good times and memories.

I still remember that day clearly - it was probably a weekend in the fall of 2007, when my wife, my daughter and I went to the PetSmart. My daughter liked him at first sight. However, there was a lady "blocking" us by standing ahead of us at that time. She was observing the cat carefully and was still hesitating. Our family was all pounding with fear that the cat would be adopted by her, and we prayed that she would leave quickly. That way we could "occupy“ a favorable position close to the cat. In the end, everything went as we wished: she moved to the neighboring cat. We immediately occupied that position, watched for a while, and decided to adopt him. When we got home, everyone felt a little embarrassed about “occupied “ the position to get Pumpkin.

He has orange hair, and the clerk called him "Pumpkin". Later we kept calling him by this name. People can change their fate, but they cannot change their history and birth. I think animals are the same. He was a stray cat transferred here from another state. His date of birth is unknown, but is estimated to be in 2006. He is thin and has a small chip embedded in his back for tracking. The doctor said that he had some congenital problems with his heart, but not critical. These so-called problems were not a concern for us at that time. Because he looked so cute. Love can dilute or cover up other problems.

As soon as Pumpkin came to our family, he became my daughter's cutie, the star of the family, and the family member I spend the most time with every day. As soon as my daughter and son came home from school, they would revolve around and play with him. My wife helped with clean the water fountain and I helped with clean the litter every day. He accompanied me while I worked during the day and watched the sports game with me at night. We really spent every day together.

Compared with other cats, Pumpkin is not so clingy. But he is very nice to people. He always control his own space independently. He loves to stay by my side, but doesn't want me to hold him or control him; he loves to lie on the table and watch me work all day; he loves to sit behind me and watch the scenery outside with me; he loves to lie by my side and watch the sport games on tv with me. That distance and that measure reflect his cleverness and wisdom. The satisfied purring he makes when he sleep makes me smell the fragrance of life and learned the ability to obtain happiness. Pumpkin, you are my best friend and life mentor, thank you!

Pumpkin, you are so easy-going and tolerant. You can get along with any guest. Even if we forget about you for a moment, you will not be angry; even if we do something wrong sometimes, you will forget it in a short time. When we were too busy to feed you, you just patiently waited for. Your character of being open-minded and confident is one of the reasons why everyone loves and why you lived a long time.

You have a free soul, born on this land, and slept in the place you were most familiar and comfortable with. This should be what you want. Rest in peace, Pumpkin! I have only one thing to say: thank you for your companionship and selfless love, dependence and contribution to this family for 18 years! You were always so thoughtful and didn’t let us worry too much; even when you left, you didn't want us to see you in pain or feel sad. May you live happier over there! May Cat Planet be better! You will live in our hearts forever.